This isn’t me disregarding how anyone else here might feel. I just needed some place to say this. Although I may be feeling better I’m still lonely and plan to fix that. Lately I’ve just been thinking to myself “it could honestly be worse.” Instead of focusing on why I’m so alone I’ve just been trying to put thoughts towards why someone might actually want to talk to me. It’s still hard for me to look into a mirror and I’ve yet to interact with a stranger but one day at a time honestly. Some days I do wake up feeling like the creature from the black lagoon. But then there are other days where I think “damn I’m pretty decent looking!” Now to just work on putting that energy outward more than the ugly energy. The next time I get paid I plan on taking myself on a date, I’m gonna go see Deadpool and Wolverine as I’ve been wanting to see it for a while and didn’t go alone but fuck it I’m not gonna hold myself back from watching an amazing movie. Then after I’m gonna go to the bookstore and find myself a nice book and a manga for myself cause you know why? I deserve it then I’m gonna go get some awesome ass food and just be happy for myself and the fact I’m able to do it in the first place! Yes I’m alone yes it sucks but I don’t wanna just throw my 20’s away being like that. I’m 24 now and I feel stupid for coming to this realization so late but even the best drivers probably didn’t get their license first try. And you know what I may even try to talk to someone if I get rejected then oh well at least I finally had the balls to do it. I’m tired of feeling this way and I’m tired of feeling bad for myself. And I’m tired of isolating myself because the way I perceive myself might also be the way a complete stranger who has never met me might perceive me. I’m the only person who can help myself. I wish you all the best and hope you are all able to realize the greatness within yourselves as well. I wish everyone a lovely day, evening, morning, afternoon, wherever they are in this world. You’re not as alone as you think you are🖤