I feel wrong and like some different specie. I have social anxiety. Can you imagine that? I have a hard time being social in a social world? That right there I'm sure is my biggest reason why I've never experienced loved. I can't talk to my family well, let alone strangers. On top of being a man which I'm expected to approach. I'm expected to lead and all that other manly stuff. I'm not a man. I'm just not. Okay physically I am but I don't have many manly traits, I'm way more feminine. I'm soft, I'm submissive, emotional, sensitive, "cutsy and adorable" (as I've been told), etc. Of course that turns off most women cause obviously they want a man not a sissy. Totally understandable. And yes I know traits like that aren't exclusive to one but still.

So I can barely hold a conversation without being awkward and my sex doesn't match my personality that well. I don't know how I'm supposed to find love. I need someone because I can't bare this loneliness for even more years to come. I want to know what it's like to be cherished. I want to grow old with someone... Why did I have to be born this way? Why did I have to be born at all?

Also there's a good chance I have mild autism so whomp whomp let's throw that onto the list of issues.