I'm 30 m and I feel like no one wants to date me seriously. I always meet nice ladies who want to chat for a while but they eventually begin to talk less and less. I've been single for a while and been dipping in and out of the dating world for quite some time. I see my friends and family having meaningful relationships and I can't help but feel a bit jealous. For me making friends is easy but having any lasting relationships beyond friendships is almost impossible. To me there is a hard cut off between being friends and being in a relationship. The older I get the less casual encounters mean anything to me.

I crave the intimacy of a full blown relationship. Not a situationship or just talking but the real deal. It's gotten to the point where even if I do meet someone nice I just leave things as friends even if it seems like they want more. I'm over the weirdness that comes if I'm wrong in my assumptions.

I feel like my friends and family who are successfully in relationships don't get it since they give me the same advice of enjoying being single. I know they mean well but the pit never fully goes away. I'm usually fine with being single for the most part since I work alot and have a ton of hobbies but whenever I get into my own head I always get into a thought spiral.

Shits depressing and no amount of distraction or even working towards my goals can extinguish the loneliness I feel on regular basis. I often fantasize about what it would be like to meet a lady that wants to be around for more than one date or a few chats.

I'm usually pretty optimistic about most things but being lonely is the one thing I have to actively fake being nonchalant about. I feel like I can't really even talk about it because I was very whiney about it in my early 20s. I just let stew now whenever I get too in my head.

If you read this far thanks for reading my venting.