I've worked so hard to be a man that I'm proud of and to be a man that people like. I go to therapy to help deal with so many disorders. In the end, I don't feel like any of it amounts to anything.

Sure, I have friends, but I want to share my life with someone and it just never happens. Every time I try, it falls flat before it even starts. It's gotten to a point where I don't think people see me as a potential romantic partner. I feel like people like me until they meet me.

Spending every weekend at home, alone. No one inviting me anywhere. My friends are getting married. One has a kid. And I'm here, watching YouTube, alone. It's been this way for years.

I try to remain positive, but there's only so much I can take before I just want to huddle up and die. I can't see an end here. Every time I feel a glimmer of hope that things will finally change, and all my work was worth something, something happens that comes along and dashes it. It's been that way for years.

I just can't take it anymore. I'm not going to kill myself, but God do I want to at times.