Anyone else here in the same boat? The older I get the more I realize the friends that I thought were my friends were toxic friends. I go around them and it’s like they didn’t really want me around or were just talking about me. Or I would have to listen to them talking about other people and I would wonder if they are talking about them they must be talking about me.

I do miss having a good conversation with someone. When I was younger I would chat with someone on the phone for hours or chat on instant messenger like yahoo messenger or AIM. Now I feel so lonely. I miss conversations so much. I miss having someone to laugh with. Every conversation I have online now is usually leading to sexual which I don’t mind but I wish me and the person could get to know one another on a deeper level and they want to get to know me. Where do people meet other people nowadays especially almost 40 and up? And when you are alone what do you do to entertain yourself? I read books, watch movies sometimes, or scroll on tik tok or Amazon. But I still feel this missing piece inside of me. I miss talking with someone.