I may have had a LOT of bad things happen to me through the years, but I've had really good things too, although not really any time recently. I find myself really thinking about the people that I've had a STRONG chemistry and connection with, unlike any other. I am terrified that I'll either never find someone like them again or that I'll find someone, but I'll always long for that sort of connection again. How do I stop myself from being, like, dazzled in those memories?

Today, I saw a YouTube video where a girl in the video looked at the guy with the same sort of look that these girls in the past have given me, the same sort of playfulness, the same chemistry, and it just hooked me in the heart right where it hurts. What do I do to even remain sane?