I can't take it anymore. My chest aches for affection, my eyes feel like pouring but they don't. I just need to be held and comforted so I can fucking cry and sleep. I hate being alone, it's destroying my soul. I'm trying to quit a weed addiction too and getting through it alone is so fucking hard. If I just had someone there with me, who I could talk to honestly about my feelings, and be understood without judgement, and given affection and comfort, I feel like I could do anything. It feels like the missing piece in my life that I so desperately need. I am so tired of living like this but it doesn't change. I need to heal to be with someone, but I need to be with someone to heal. I don't believe that there's anyone out there that wants to be suddenly intimate and involved with someone who need to cry and vent and be given so much comfort. Maybe if I find someone as broken as me we could heal together, but that feels impossible. I don't want to be alone. I need physical touch, I get none. I vent to my friends and they barely even acknowledge it. I spend 99% of my time alone now with a mind that is at its worst alone. I spend 99% of my time untouched with a body that desperately needs it. Some days I wish I had the courage to just fucking end it and be done, I just need some semblance of fucking peace and rest.