I'm not sure where to post this so I'm using this subreddit. I am not one to post about their private life a lot but I crossed the limit a long time on what I can handle and I just had to reach out for help.

People don't usually talk about how lonely it is to move to another country for college and then having to go back to your home country and you have to leave everything you built for yourself in the new place.

I have a bf but we plan on breaking up soon because I have to go back and long distances with a 9.5-hour time difference is not gonna work for 5 years. (If you DM me, please don't ask questions about this. It is a heavy topic for me).

Not only that but I have physically and mentally abusive parents back home so all the work that I put into mental health and healing from the trauma of my parent's abuse, back to square one. The abuse is so bad like slamming my head to a wall to give me concussions and holding a knife to my neck sorta shit. Don't even get me started on the gaslighting, manipulation and other toxic traits that my mom has.

Not to mention my dad is battling cancer right now too and things aren't looking good.

The immigrant status, policies and opportunities are so biased in the country I have moved to (US) and the job market being where it is, it really sucks.

I graduate this May (2024) and have to leave coz I didn't get a job despite applying for 400 jobs.

I am trying to do the most I can before I go back to a life of not allowing to meet friends or go on walks or dress the way I want to. So yes, my substance use has been pretty prominent there but I am using self-control so I do not overdo it. I go to therapy because of my multiple diagnoses (CPTSD, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and potentially borderline blah blah) and I'm on medication for my mental health so that's good I guess?

I feel so hopeless. I would be down for some company (just friends) - and we don't have to talk about my issues - I just want people to talk to about anything and everything. I do have some introductions posts on my profile which shows I'm looking for friends so you could check that out if you want to learn a bit about me.

But seriously, the company would really be appreciated it would mean a lot to me if you dropped me DM, and looking forward to the wonderful conversations and kind people!