How do you deal with it really? I vape more often. Not sure if it's helping or if I use it to cope.... I don't drink never have so alcohol will be out. I'm too broke and scared of needles and tbh not really wana be into the addictive person lifestyle like that. Like it looks really rough and ummm... dirty and not sanitary for lack of better terms lbvs so those drugs are out. Maybe pills but idk where to buy them or how or like what to do kwim so Iike how to start drugs to use them lol! Like I'm just trying to find an escape from the crushing weight of it cuz I swear I can't breathe, function, think, like the reality of knowing I'm alone is so heavy like I need help and I have zero clue or idea and I'm trying cuz for some reason I think I might have value to someone even if I don't know them and that's all I have to hold to cuz my thoughts are right and they aren't getting less right, they get more right and I'm afraid no I know that I'm not strong enough to keep them at bay. I just need one person. Ikr. Just one out of the billions on this planet. I can be that one for others but when I need one... Makes sense. I don't deserve it. If I did, I would have it in some way but at the end I'm exactly what I am so I'm not mad that I am just hurt cuz I really try to be the person you have no matter what and yes it fucked me a few times but I still try cuz you have to try for the world to be a better place and like a dumb ass I just want the world to be a better place so the next little girl doesn't have to see and know shit no one should.... Just make it make sense a little... So one night I can have tears of joy? Ok thanks. As you were citizens... Happy bunny day