The reason why I’m sharing my experience with lonesomeness is that I hope it can help someone in some way, and make them aware that they are not alone in this struggle.

When I was at high school, I was quite a loner, I didn’t have many friends but I got along with everyone and was quite courteous though it didn’t stop the bullying; due to me being alone most of the time, I was often a target of ridicule and rejection yet I left people alone. It was quite a hard ecosystem to be in and when I reported the bullying to the teachers, they did little to help matters. I was not a fighter and hold pacifistic attitudes.

However, due to my loneliness, I saw this as a strength and I spent many hours in the library reading and researching numerous topics and I genuinely loved it - it was an addiction of academia!

I thought I didn’t need anyone but this would bite me in the posterior a few years later and when during college, I nearly unalived myself as I didn’t want to be here no more.

Fortunately, through of a combination of my mum and therapy helping get through this dark time in my life, I bounced back and went to my next college where everything changed for the better, I made many friends and ironically enough became one of the “popular ones.” At times though, I still felt really lonely.

I’m a very extroverted personality and make friends quite easily despite me being autistic, but I do enjoy my own company and I find it peaceful and liberating.

I’m also gay but I do find it hard to relate to other gay people as our interests are very different; I feel quite alone in this area of my life but hopefully this will change.

I want to let people know that loneliness is not a life-sentence and things will get better. It is not a permanent curse and if you see it as a strength as I did, hopefully you will become more stronger than ever - nothing in the universe can stop you!

I love you all very much and you will rise out of this like a phoenix out of the fire.