I am a 24 year old male who is perpetually lonely. 3 years ago I enlisted in the Army hoping it would put me in an environment in which I would thrive,learn more efficient social skills, and come out of my shell that I was prior. All I have found is that I am not like my coworkers at all. I do not drink, have an interest in partying, or going to bars. In the past three years I have spent 9 months overseas and soon I will be doing it again. Both times with roughly a year in between meaning any new relationship I make (romantic or otherwise) will or has been interrupted by almost a year of separation. The only communication I have with family I feel is the communication I initiate with them when I call. I truly feel as though my life lacks love I try my best to seek it out either through the communications I send out to family or by trying my best to make attempts on dating apps. But I fear that my relationship with love and women may be more deeply rooted than I think. I lost my mom at the age of five and was very quickly followed by an abusive stepmother for 8 years and then another through high-school graduation through I believe this has an effect on on my ability to form relationships with women in addition to the lack of socialization I was able to find through having my stepmother block me from being able to socialize throughout my formative years effecting my ability to socialize with women. I guess this is to say how can I break my cycle?