You know, I laugh at my life a bit, so please allow me to vent for a bit.

I spent the better part of my 20s trying to go out and enjoy my time and trying to find someone to enjoy and spend time with, maybe even become more with. In all, it was a loss and I finally settled for someone much older than me and who lied about many aspects of their life. I never wanted that to happen, but because I was who I was and because I was lonely, I forgave and tried to make things work with someone who obviously was just using me to fill a void in their life.

Well, that lead to a marriage that was incredibly one sided and was often times filled with nothing fulfilling in my personal opinion. It cost me more than just time, it also cost me so much in many other things, but I digress. I would go out with her and often times experience things such as, "Oh it's sweet you are taking your mom out for dinner" or "Oh what does your mom want to eat/drink", or "How can you be with her, when you could do so much better". Well, ladies, forgive me, but I did try. I really tried and many of the women saying this were the same women that would not give me the time of day. The same type of women that were berating me for being able to do better are the same ones that told me I wasn't their type or that wouldn't give me a second look when I tried talking to them. Seriously, you can't say both aspects and if you can, can you please explain to me why it is different.

Anyways, I finally got tired of the narcissistic abuse I was dealing with and got divorced last February. I finally realized that I really couldn't deal with it anymore and moved on. I know this is a subject for another thread and I personally am at peace with my decision and the consequences of my actions.

The subject of this is, I am finding it hard to connect again. I really don't get women.

Oh well.