In my head all I can think about is finding someone to connect with and could be happy. Having that one person, romantically or even as a friend, who understands me and would be by my side seems like that missing piece in my life. Someone to be giving and recieving help from no matter how bad it gets. But it just feels like its impossible for me to do. Like no one will ever understand the person I am. And what is worse is when I try to build a connection like that I either get left behind or I fail at being a friend to begin with.

I keep getting advice that I need to be okay with being alone before I can build something special with someone else. I hate the isolation that comes with being alone. I Feel like no one will ever understand me and no matter what I do to fix myself or improve is just pointless effort. I just want to be loved for who I am in this moment but it seems like it's an impossible task.