This past year has been hell, The worst one of my life without any question, I thought I'd be spending this Christmas and New Year's with somebody but I was sorely mistaken, what I got instead was abused, beaten, cheated on, and abandoned before my birthday in April only to be left alone for the rest of the year.

I've searched every dating app, every dating site, a few subreddits and come with nothing, not a single soul anywhere on this Earth wants to be with me, I've looked every day since April and have gotten maybe three people to message me and out of them, none lasted more than a few hours before they left like everyone else.

So I've relapsed my SH that I managed to stop for a few months, I started again Christmas night, and I have every day since then, particularly New Year's, right when the ball dropped on the news actually, thoight it would be interesting to time it like that but no difference.

I have nobody, somebody to talk to nobody to give my love to, nobody to feel like I belong to, I have nothing but my blades and even they don't help much anymore sadly.

I just want to be loved, to be able to give my love to somebody for once without fear of mistreatment or abandonment, I just want 1 holiday where im not so fucking alone and broken.

Idk, all we can do is keep moving I guess, at the very least I can say 2024 cannot in any stretch of the imagination be worse than this past year so there's that I guess, however that's not a very high bar so not a good thing either really

If anything bothers to read this far, feel free to dm me anytime if you want to talk or something, I have nobody so I just vent in my posts here, someone to talk to would be nice for a change instead of just passing my days by but either way, thanks lads ✨ and happy new years to you guys and girls 🎉 hope you're doing better than me