Hello all,

I don't how to write this post because i made it in the moment.

I didn't many friends and much less woman friends, i am not good at social, i view all things in my life in negative. It is verrry difficult to me to acknowledge compliment, i think i don't deserve it (like all the things in my life. tigger warningand also my life but i will not kill me ). i think i don't have good emotion.

My lonelyness is unberable some time and lately more and more, that why i push myself to make this post. But i like also being alone.

I would like to chat with people online or irl but i fear to bother them, to not have good subject to discuss, to make mistake or hurt people.

And i think i want also affection or a girlfriend or something similar but i fear what can come.

All special day like chrimas,new year, my birthday are normal days in my monotonus life.

Go out of my bedroom is difficult mentaly, and i need impulse for all the things i need to do.

Also i am ashamed of my thought of certain things.

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I didn't had or have any goal in my life for about 15 years. or perhaps knowing what is like to have a girlfriend.

I am already follow by professional.

i don't know if it was right to post in this reddit.

i am french.

thank you in advance for you to have read my post and i am open answer question.