I've been thinking about suicide for a long time. I don't see much of a point in moving on. Life is just a cycle of hope and disappointment. Yes, I know things can be worse, but that doesn't make them better.

My career is going nowhere. Everything is too expensive. I still have to live with my parents. Nothing I enjoy makes me happy. I have no girlfriend. My hair is starting to fall out. I'm constantly fatigued, stressed, angry, sad. Of course, when you're a man--you're seen as inherently less sympathetic or valuable (this does not mean women don't suffer, there's just uniquely shitty things about being male). If most of my life is going to be a cycle of hope and disappointment, why even bother living?

It's just I don't have the courage to end my life. I think I'm too afraid of what's on the other side. I was raised religious so I always have that lingering fear of eternal torment because I didn't believe enough or whatever. I'm a bit nervous about how my death would impact my family, even though I don't feel close to them.

How do I gain the courage to face death?