Alright. It's gotten to the point where work is the main focus of my life right now. I want to have a normal ass life where work isn't the main focus. I don't make enough to afford going out to eat or going out to meet new people. I mean, I can make the time to do that on my off days, but now, seeing as how people generally make it seem like something's wrong with me in terms of ghosting me after a while or they just stop responding when there seems to be a little inkling of hope when it comes to a developing friendship.

As a man, I want to know what it feels like to have someone care about me as much as I put in the effort to care for them. I don't really mean that as far as romance or dating, but in general. I want to hang out every now and again without having to worry about whether or not I'm bothering me. I am pretty boring and not that interesting, but I don't want to stand out or be the fun person or life of the party. I just want to be.....me and not feel bad for it. I am loving myself a lot more nowadays, but I'm not really going to put myself out there anymore. I'm just mentally and emotionally drained and tired.

Thank you for taking the time out to read and I love you all.