I figure that most people here are lonely or feeling lonely. For me... I'm not even sure. More ennui or maybe melancholy. I have a SO at the moment and though our interactions are genuine, I feel like I'm putting on an act. I suppose it feels that way because I put on a different face for different people. And yet the only place I truly feel comfortable is in a rather degenerate space that caters to a variety of fetishes... and even then, I'm wearing a different mask, but one that is more true to myself.

I know that there are a lot of things wrong with me and that there are even more potentially, if people know, will most likely not accept or attempt to understand. There are plenty of labels already and no one truly cares to dig deeper. Or at least it feels that way.

And so, I've learned to go through the motions of being a... productive member of society. Keep most of my thoughts to myself. I can make small talk and even go into deep subjects, but I defer and reflect to others to tell me their stories instead of my own. They seem to appreciate having someone attentively listen to them and all the while, I've told nothing of myself.

A lot of rambling I suppose, but I guess what I'm trying to do is let someone else out there that feels similarly know that there is someone else that knows how they feel. To be surrounded by people and have many "friendships" and relationships and yet feel completely empty because the shell is what people are interested in.

annnd that's about all that there is at the moment. Good morning, Reddit.