Hello everyone. Well... I don't know if the title is completely descriptive, but you know that moment in which you remember your childhood and you said "I dreamed of..." And now you realize that all that Is it further than you would think?

I am a programmer, at 20 years old I feel like I have not achieved anything in my life, I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have real friends, all I have is a job that I can't leave but I hate it

Every day I ask myself the same question "Why do I continue?" It's Saturday, and I swear I'm anxious for Monday to arrive, my only reason to live is to wait for payday, pay bills and spend my little remaining money on something that buys me happiness For 5 minutes

But really, every day I can't find why I'm alive

At what point did that occur? At what point do we leave dreams behind and start living to pay bills? At what point did the games we played stop being fun? At what point did I stop wanting to live?