last night in a discord call i heard my friends mention hanging out today, i was waiting for a invite that never came and i feel like a lonely fool, people who you think you're close to ignoring you. sometimes i feel like im the butt of the joke since i use self depreciating humor but i enjoy making others laugh and cant imagine a life where im not trying to find humor in between the darkness, anyways i went to target to buy stuff to make chicken wings and started bawling my eyes out on the way home. i've been reflecting on my relationships and realized that besides family i really have no circle and im afraid of continuing to live my life like this. got wings though.