I've known existential loneliness for most of my life. I know how much pain it brings... Just wanting someone to be there for you. Hug you and tell you "I'm here now, it will be ok". So much of my life I wanted it, craved it, needed it.. So many nights crying alone, holding myself as I begged for someone to hold me.

The sadest part is I thought I deserved to be alone. I believed that no one could possibly care for me. So if anybody did try to show me any kind of care, I just pushed them away. I almost never saw it as genuine. This went on for most of my life. I had almost no social skills because of this.... I was so lost and alone. Words cannot describe...

But at some point things turned around... I Found somebody that did care for me. I started to believe that I did matter. I started to develop social skills. I even became that confident in the way I spoke.... In the last seven months, I've made tremendous growth in myself. Remove many addictions, lost a lot of weight, and really began to accept myself.

Now, I have an undying urge to help others who have suffered like me. You're not alone.... if anyone wants to talk, I will listen.