I have known about how connection is important for health since I was a teenager but I have some trauma and can't seem to connect with many people other than those who have experience trauma or have specific life experiences.

Recently hurt somebody I really cared about with a comment that had two ways of interpretation and it caused a falling out. I feel so bad because it's like no matter what I do I can't get closer.

I was no contact with family for 2.5 years and just called parents for first time and now I want to die.

The guy I was seeing was the one who I had a falling out with and he's away for a week and for some reason my two best friends are busy.

But actually I just...I don't know. I don't usually get like this and I haven't felt this way in ages but I just feel like...it doesn't matter how I connect. It's just so lonely. And when it's not lonely it's so easy to fall into toxicity. I just don't want to anymore I am so stressed and sad and lonely.

I just don't see the point.