40 [M4F] #North Sadistic Dom seeks sub for hot, steamy questions about life goals, careful vetting and shared values
40 [M4F] #UK #London Sadistic Dom seeks sub for hot, steamy questions about life goals, careful vetting and shared values
Yeah, I know, I'm looking for romance and a partner at the same time as I'm telling you I enjoy giving a good hard spanking. In my mind the two are linked, if they are in yours too, here is what I'm looking for:
So, there we are together. We've just finished a nice walk in Lake District. Nothing too crazy, and we make it back with plenty of time to stop off at a little café. I'm having a sandwich and ordered you an omelette. You made fun of the fact that I forgot the plasters and my feet hurt, again. I make fun of the fact you think those are real hiking boots. By the time we are done with our meal it is cold out, and we have an in joke about me lending you my jacket. You put my jacket on and I smile. I enjoy taking care of you, and you enjoy that I've gotten sweaty and you can smell me on it.
We return to our little guest house, and, as we discussed on our walk, you kneel by the door inside. What happens next? Well, I said I was sadistic, but I'll keep this somewhat PG-13. I spank you, I take you, I use every hole in your body to please myself because you are mine, in exactly the way I like.
Then we clean up, snuggle, put on a movie and chat shit about everything and nothing until we doze off.
Below I've broken me and what I'm looking for into nicely ordered sections like the massively nerdy scientist I am. If what I'm interested in sounds intriguing to you, drop me a message or chat.
Personality Yes, I have one of these. So you can probably tell I have trouble taking myself too seriously. Things that need to be taken seriously, safety, clear communication, boundaries, I take seriously. Everything else, life is too short and absurd not to laugh. My friends would probably tell you that I'm smart, although I suspect this because they confuse knowing a fair amount of random crap for actual insightfulness. I'm told I'm kind and empathetic, which I guess is true, unless you ask very nicely. I'm honest without being cruel. I do sometimes miss social cues though. I'm insufferably verbose, but you didn't notice that did you. I'm supportive and a little paternalistic outside the bedroom. I enjoy caring for my sub, cooking for them, doting on them. During play, I'm cruel and sadistic, I will hurt you, and I will enjoy it.
Dynamic and experience I'm a sadistic male dominant, I have experience in years but not in terms of number of partners as I'm serially monogamous. I've engaged in impact play, TPE, free use, throat fucking, tit fucking, anilingus, sensory deprivation, food play, gags, anal stimulation, degradation and humiliation (I'm told I'm pretty decent with word-play), orgasm denial/control, edging, high protocol, daily rules and structure, position training, rope play and shibari (although my rope work sucks, and I'd like to learn more). A bunch of other stuff I'm forgetting here. I'm occasionally active on r/BDSMAdvice, if you want to know my philosophy there I suggest reading a few of my posts. They are likely a better summary of it than any collection of platitudes I might write here. Safety is a priority for me, we will have long conversations about limits and aftercare needs and safewords and so on. Vetting will take time and isn't negotiable.
Must have / Hard limits I'm looking for something in the context of a long term relationship, short of permanent total power exchange, but not bedroom only. I require oral, including ingestion of semen, verbal and physical humiliation and degradation, as well as openness to anal and watersports. Multiple male partners are a no-go, as is anything likely to cause permanent damage. So is anything involving non-consenting third parties.
Physical I'm 40, 5'9" (175cm). I'm overweight. I don't smoke. Blondish/brown hair, depending on if I have seen the sun recently. Recent clean STI test. I'm told I have a nice voice, RP accent, except when I slip into my colloquial Essex drawl. Occasional stammerer, which somehow no one notices. Happy to share pictures once I'm convinced you aren't going to take my kidneys.
Values and goals My family is important to me (parents and brother), as is my work (I'm a research scientist). Friends are important too, they are mostly scattered around the world and I need to be able to make time for them. I never want children. I'm not religious. I want domestic duties to be split equally, although I am open to domestic service submission if you are in turn open to ways to make that reasonably equitable and I can cook sometimes. I make terrible dad jokes, and yes that is a life goal.
Interests I don't actually think shared interests matter that much, but they can help you see what I'm passionate about. I enjoy composing music, modelling and animating in 3D using a program called blender, playing video games with my friends from around the world (mostly Overwatch these days, but if you know something new and cool I'm down) and solo (mostly grand strategy games, because I am precisely as big a nerd as you think I am). I like going for walks up high places or around beautiful lakes and forests (although I'm not in the best of physical condition at the moment). I'm a history nerd, second century Rome is my favourite time period, go ahead and ask me my opinion about Diocletian if you want a two-hour boring rant featuring inflation and the Holy Roman Empire (two things guaranteed to make any submissive just gush their panties, inflation and the HRE). Trying to learn about Chinese history and struggling. Ich studiere auch Deutsch. Hier kampfe ich auch. A bit of a homebody unless it involves a plane or train, I don't mind going out, but I prefer small group events to say a disco. I'd rather spend an evening learning to write EDM than go to a rave. I love to travel, especially to Bavaria.
About you Your level of experience is unimportant, as are your looks, height or weight. Your interests probably don't matter, so long as you have some, show me something cool or that you are passionate about. How well our personalities mesh, and we connect is what will be determinative which really requires some time spent chatting and seeing how things go. You are probably a little introverted, like cuddles and attention and probably masochistic, or at least enjoy receiving pain to please your partner. Good communication is highly valued, as is a desire for quality time and attention. You are curious for new things, both kinky and not. I don't mind a little bratting (especially if it is used to help ease communication), but I have my limits there and generally prefer to go without in favour of more direct communication. You value your submission and recognise that it should be shared with someone who utilises it for a purpose. You are somewhere in the south of England or along the East Coast Mainline.
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