Hello there! Strap yourself in, it’s going to be a long one, but hopefully you’ll think it worth your while.

So who is this guy?

I’m 26 years old, white, single, with brown hair and hazel eyes. I’m a smidge over 6 foot (and yes, I will hang on to the smidge) and about 85kg, in decent shape. Don’t smoke/use drugs, vaccinated, clean. I realise this is probably how 30% of men in the UK might describe themselves so very happy to exchange photos early.

And I am in fact a doctor. It’s a big part of who I am , it’s something I take a lot of pride in and (at the risk of sounding arrogant) it’s something that I’m very good at. I personally think it’s the most interesting thing in the world, and I have a bad habit of subjecting the people I care about to lots (LOTS) of stories about this. So if you don’t want to hear about the time I had to remove some very questionable objects from some entirely unfit-for-purpose orifices, then you should probably run. Far.

Outside of my career, I’m a pretty eclectic guy. I love boxing (undefeated amateur in fact – no need to get bogged down in things like how many fights I’ve had), cooking (expect to be extremely well fed), literature (I read a lot, most recently HP Lovecraft), chess (yes I’m a bit of a nerd), music (if it’s from before 2010) and films (just please not anything with The Rock in it).

As a person, I’m probably more the extroverted introvert than the introverted extrovert. Words my nearest and dearest have used to describe me include; loyal, caring to a fault, sarcastic, mature, obsessive, intelligent, open-minded, empathetic and driven. It feels a bit weird to list a bunch of nice things about myself, so I also asked them to say the worst things too:

“He’s right all the time. And I don’t mean he thinks he’s right all the time, he’s genuinely right. ALL. THE. TIME. It drives me insane” - A

“He is like a dog with a bone when he finds something that winds you up. I actually hate him. I don’t know why he’s asking me, I don’t even consider him a friend. Maybe an acquaintance” - L

“Living in the room directly below his was haunting” – J

“There is no occasion where he won’t make the most awful jokes“ - C

What’s the big dream?

In a fit of naïve optimism, I’m posting here in the hopes of finding the person to spend the rest of my life with. I’d love to find someone who naturally seeks a dominant partner, a partner who will take charge and keep them safe. A relationship where we are the perfect foil to one another. Where we make each other better. With that being said, I am but a simple man and so succumb to horniness like any other – I’m certainly open to something less serious. But why not aim as high as possible?

I don’t have many dealbreakers; kinky (duh), no STIs, and looking for someone in decent shape. My health is really important to me, and I’d like a partner who feels likewise. And most importantly, someone who believes in open communication. No amount of being otherwise perfect for each other will compensate if we can’t clearly communicate how we’re feeling.

Oh, and not liking animals. How can you not like all animals? I’ve spent some time in forensic psychiatry, and it’s never a good sign.

The fun stuff

The bit you actually care about. I’ve been involved in kinky dynamics for the best part of 10 years, which have spanned the gamut of what’s possible. And if there’s one thing I’ve found, it’s that having a cookie-cutter approach to creating a dynamic doesn’t really work. Also that I absolutely cannot keep a straight face whilst roleplaying as a pirate, but mostly the first thing. I’d far rather find the specific, unique situation that works for us. With that said, I think the templates I’m most suited to tend to be of the D/s, M/s, DDlg, or TPE with varying levels of protocol. I’m probably not a natural for primal/pet type dynamics – but I’m always open to exploring things.

In terms of actual kinks, likewise! I’m open to a lot, but some of my favourites include: bondage, sadomasochism, impact play (including face slapping), choking, anal play, oral play, some humiliation/degradation, public play, orgasm control/denial, CNC etc. If it’s not on the list, there’s a very good chance I enjoy it so just ask!

Hard limits – The usual. No underage, animals, illegal etc. Also, just because I’m open to a kink doesn’t mean I’m open to it right away. If you’re 18, never had a dynamic like this before and want to explore CNC or somnophilia? Sure, but not until we’re very familiar with each other.

It’s probably time to stop there, seeing as I’ve already given you an essay to read. If you made it through all that, thank you for your perseverance and I appreciate any messages you may have. If you’re interested in seeing if we’re compatible, then that’s great. If you want to offer some scathing criticism, I’m nothing if not receptive – feel free to really go for it.