Hi everyone,

This is from a meet on Thursday evening - I thought I'd make this post now I've had a chance to process things and things are still fresh in my mind. This probably isn't a conventional "SUCCESS" story (as you'll see later), but I thought I'd share it anyway as it was a really valuable experience for me and I still ended the night feeling like I'd accomplished something meaningful. Sorry if this is quite long - I'm typing as the thoughts come to mind!

When I posted to reddit, I wasn't sure what to expect. I was pretty nervous to be honest - putting myself out there felt overwhelming (and I wasn't expecting 800 messages - a handful at most!). If you saw my most recent post there were some really awful messages, but I'll admit I did receive a few hundred really thoughtful ones. I did want to reply to all of them but at even at a speedy 2 minutes per reply it would take a whole day, sorry to those I didn't get back to!

There was one message that stood out - thoughtful and warm, but not trying too hard - from u/PrayingForGregory. He lived locally, understood my situation, and in general felt like a really nice genuine guy if that makes sense? We had a bit of a chat and I decided to meet. I was fine with going to his straight away but he suggested getting coffee first so I could get a feel for him and make sure the chemistry was there, which in retrospect was really nice. He suggested we could later go back to his - apparently his housemate doesn't normally allow guests but there was an exception as he had the flat to himself for a night. Another nice surprise was him suggesting that I keep a friend updated on where I was and how the night was going - I felt safe but it was really cute that it was clear he wanted to make me feel reassured - another thing that in retrospect I probably should have done given I was planning to go to a stranger's place.

We met for coffee near his flat - I arrived early as I was nervous and didn't want to turn up late! To be honest I wasn't expecting much (beyond seeing if he was truly normal and not a creep masquerading over text). However, when I met him I was pleasantly surprised - he was tall (really tall) and had a kind of calm confidence (though without arrogance) that put me at ease. I'd say he was my type, and probably better looking than his photos would suggest (which we had a laugh about).

I wasn't able to match the confidence - I spent the whole time rambling about random things - books, podcasts, my life back in HK before coming to London, etc. He didn't interrupt or make me feel silly which was great (despite me probably dominating the conversation a bit too much, oops).

We then went back to his flat as it was 6pm and the coffee store was closing - fairly cozy and simple, and talked on the sofa for a couple hours. I was really glad he wasn't just looking to get me inside and "get to business", so-to-speak - I didn't want to rush into things and he was completely fine with that. We talked for a long time, just sitting together and sharing little pieces of our lives. I told him about my favorite books, my dreams of traveling, and a bit about growing up in a very traditional household. He was so easy to talk to, and I felt like I could just be myself without overthinking every word.

Eventually, things started to shift. It wasn’t sudden - just this quiet closeness that built between us. He reached out to hold my hand, and when he leaned in to kiss me, he asked if it was okay. I said yes, and I'm glad he took things one step at a time - it felt like a natural progression rather than anything forced. To be honest, at that point in the evening I was really keen to break the touch barrier, and I guess I'm glad it was more of a "do things when I feel like I want them to happen" rather than a "we do it and hope that I wanted it after". Everything from here was a novel experience for me, and it was really exciting to finally be able to feel what it's like to do these things, as up to now I'd only really known them from the descriptions of my friends. I think a mix of nerves and excitement meant my heart was trying to rip its way out of my chest (though in a good way, if that makes sense? I'm not sure how to describe it).

As we kissed, things became more physical - I found myself touching him. His hands moved slowly, testing the waters, and he kept checking in to make sure I was comfortable - not really in a clinical way though. When he began undressing me, I felt nervous but also excited. I’d never been this vulnerable with anyone before, and his gentleness made it feel okay. We took this bit slowly and I had asked to turn the lights off as I hadn't undressed like this before and I'll admit I'm a little self-conscious, but he was happy to do so.

When he touched me, it was unlike anything I’d felt before - intense, exciting, and a little overwhelming. I tried to reciprocate, and he guided me with patience, though I felt clumsy. It wasn’t perfect, but it was genuine, and I appreciated his encouragement. I didn't expect to be a natural but I think there's perhaps a knack I didn't quite have. I couldn’t help but feel exposed - physically and emotionally - and it brought up so many feelings I didn’t expect. This is where the night diverged from the traditional "SUCCESS" post.

As things progressed, I felt this wave of doubt - not about him, but about myself. Years of guilt and shame from my upbringing suddenly surfaced, drowning out the excitement of the moment. It was like all the voices I’d grown up with - family, teachers, even my own inner critic - were shouting at me to stop.

I think he sensed my hesitation and asked me if things were okay - I told him I needed to stop, and his reaction was exactly what I needed. He immediately pulled back, nodded, and asked if I was okay. There was no awkwardness or frustration, just understanding. He wrapped me in a blanket, asked whether I'd prefer to be left alone or have him stay, whether I wanted to leave or not. I wanted him to stay, and we moved back to the sofa and he stayed close to me, and made sure I was okay. I was really touched and glad he was happy to keep me company rather than kick me out of the door - it really made the encounter feel less "transactional" and more like he genuinely cared.

We ended up talking again for what felt like ages - another hour or so maybe, probably more. It wasn’t forced or uncomfortable - it was just us, connecting in a way that felt just as meaningful as the physical intimacy had been. I stayed longer than I’d planned because, honestly, I didn’t want to leave, and I was really enjoying the conversation. We ended up talking about silly things - his favorite terrible movies, my childhood obsession with fantasy novels - and it felt easy, like the pressure of the night had lifted.

When it got late, he offered to walk me home. I hesitated for a second - I didn’t want to seem like I needed him to - but I was nervous about walking back alone in the dark, and I was glad he’d suggested it. He walked me all the way to my building, said goodnight and had a final warm hug, and then waited until I was inside.

So yes - I didn't have sex that night, and part of me feels like I failed. I wanted to cross the milestone and be able to feel "caught up" with my peers, and I failed. But deep down I know I didn't - I listened to myself, and didn't push past what I was ready for, which feels like a win in itself. I was able explore intimacy in a really controlled way, and I still had a great night even if it probably didn't go the way I expected.

I was a little worried after some of the more...intimidating messages I had initially received when making the reddit post, so it was really really amazing to know that not everyone is like this. I don’t know if I’ll see him again, but even if I don’t, I’m glad I met him (and I hope he's glad he met me!). I suppose this wasn’t about finding “the one” or having a perfect, movie-like moment. It was about trying something new, taking a step outside my comfort zone, and seeing where it led.

Anyway, I’m rambling and is far longer than I initially intended, but I hope this encourages someone who’s been nervous about putting themselves out there (just prepare for your inbox to be flooded). Thanks for reading.