More than you can give. I deserve someone who doesn't want to sit online talking to another little or maybe more than one, who isn't on their phone but can't even take the time to respond to what I've said a million times over.

I deserve someone who is honest, who is open, who acknowledges me, answers my questions and responds accordingly. I deserve to be loved, accepted, embraced.

I deserve someone who says what they mean, who does what they say they will do, who isn't afraid to jump head-first even if things might be difficult because I'm willing to do the same and will give my 150% to make it work.

I deserve what you can't give me and that breaks my heart but I can't sit here and watch you be on your phone obviously voice chatting with someone else when anytime you had your kid you would always avoid talking to me.

I hope the other girl(s) are nice and good and treat you well and support you when you're feeling down because I did my best to be as supportive and understanding as I could since we're both bipolar .. though I'm not as spicy as you.

I miss you already but this is what I need I think to be okay and you can't give me what I need to feel secure or not like I'm spiraling out of control so I'm just going to be here.. waiting to see if you care enough to call me or care enough to acknowledge me, message me, something me.

I know I sound insane right now because I'm emotional and sad but I just need to get it off my chest and I don't have a journal and I don't want my journal if I had one to be tainted with emotions related to someone who may or may not even deserve them, so here we are.

I'm sorry littlespace, for being such a venter lately. You're all very good and I hope you do great things, take your meds, drink lots of fluids and have a good evening. <3 May you all find caregivers if you want them and may you have all the stuffies n pacis n whatever you likes.