So I've been into the lifestyle for over 2 years, have had more bad encounters than good, but I have reached a point where I don't know what to do. This has never been something that I was guided, forced, or led into it has always been something I naturally did until I found out there was a name for it. However it has been something which helps me progress and go through things not everyone understands or agrees with it but I don't force it upon them or even do it around anyone unless they already know. I have had dom/sir/daddy in the past who put me down for it or have supported in ways which helped but were not long lasting. I know I struggle with communication and confidence sometimes yet I know what I want and need but I don't know how to express it to others in a way in which I need those certain things. I need the support, communication, and someone to notice when I'm feeling off to where I don't have to say what is wrong. I want to be able to just express how I feel at times and just break down and have someone be there for me without being judged put down or told to buck up/over reacting. It's just hard and difficult to explain things in words when you've been hurt so many times especially after you open up to someone and they then use your soft spots as ammunition. I just feel alone and feel like I'm the only one who goes through this struggle to the point where bad decisions seem like good decisions and nothing seems right anymore.