so, i made a friend in october and we just clicked instantly. they got my humour, understood my anxiety and encouraged me to explore my little side. we spoke 24/7, about everything and anything. i told them stuff i’ve never told anyone before and they were the only person i could talk to about abdl stuff so they were my go to person. i told them all about my drama at work and personal life and they spilled tea about their life. my bf knows but doesn’t fully accept it so i feel uncomfortable talking about it with him bc i don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

they encouraged me to just take the leap and buy my first pack of abdl diapers and buy that cute onesie i was longing for but too nervous to go through with. we had 6 hour phone calls almost everyday and i laughed. i laughed so much when i was talking to them bc they understood me and accepted me, all of me. i could be my completely authentic self around them, had no fear of shame, judgment or embarrassment.

life was good.

until it wasn’t. they have ghosted me. i have absolutely no idea why but it hurts. i felt like i had truly made a friend who understood me. they said they were going away for a week and i haven’t heard anything at all. i don’t even know if it’s about me or not, but i just feel so much pain. it’s almost been 2 months since we last spoke and i miss them so much. i don’t know what to do anymore. i don’t enjoy little space anymore bc i am completely alone and will probably just throw away my little stuff

ETA: thanks for reading if you get this far btw, i appreciate you taking the time to read my vent :)