Honestly I just needed to vent safely for a second. Holidays are always hard and overwhelming, lots of responsibilities and obligations that I find really taxing. And I have been feeling really lonely and exhausted. I'm not lonely because I don't have people around me I do I just don't have the bandwidth to talk much.. I don't have the safety or bandwidth to be little during all this and I'm just idk. I'm out of sorts I don't feel good and all I want to do it hide. I feel guilty that I feel like this during a time that's supposed to be good and that it feels like my fault things are hard. I'm gonna ramble if I keep going. I feel like I need a good cry and to be held but my brain won't let me. Anyway I hope all have a happy holidays no matter what you do I hope things go well.