At 4:40PM, the vet dismissed our concerns regarding my dog having a stroke. We tried to elevate his head, and offer water when he felt like it, At 5:02PM, today my dog died in our arms.

To say I'm heartbroken is a understatement, I felt and still feel sick to my stomach. The thought of relapsing has been festering in my head, I've had an incredibly stressful week,and this was the nail in the coffin that led me to having a full-blown meltdown. I called one of my best friends, and even though I just got back home last night, I am once again leaving to their house to take time to feel and grieve safely.

This has been a huge shock to me, and so very left field and I can't beg you all enough, to love your friends, animals, and companions like it's your last day on earth. I''m hurting so bad, and I've literally been wrapped up in my blankets and holding on my stuffies for dear life, since. My paci has been such a huge help for me.

This is the first death, I've ever directly experienced and I genuinely do not know what to do.

I just need support or someone or anything.