So as probably you’re all aware I had a rough break with my Ex Daddy. We talked things through and decided to try and fix things. I should have known better and seen the red flags, but the love I had for him was still very much so there. I was still hurting and I jumped at the chance to make things right. Something I can’t explain how much I regret doing. He was cold, distant, never wanted to speak to me, or spend time with me. Whenever I brought it up it was always “I told you that I was going to spend more time with friends” yet all I asked for was at least 30 minutes of his time. I started to shut down and he then proposed a deal… “I spend weekends with friends gaming, and during the week I’m all yours” so he ended up not spending any time with me from Friday to Tuesday. Tuesday being the day I blocked him and cut off all contact. During that weekend his only messages to me were ‘mhm’ or ‘ok’ nothing more, nothing less. Monday came about and I was in a great mood as I knew it was ‘my time’ but instead of communicating that he was tired he told me got home from work.. then I didn’t hear from him for another 5 hours. And yes I had been left on read. Onto Tuesday… I distanced myself completely, I didn’t message him once, I told myself that if he wanted to show up to our relationship and try to fix things then he would. Nothing. I was the one to message him (just before I knew he was going to sleep) and I said “I can’t do this anymore, I can’t give you my everything when you make no effort to keep it” something along those lines… and I did, I gave him everything… from pictures to money to games to sleepcalls. I don’t know what more I could have done to save our relationship. The odd thing is, I don’t feel anything for him anymore. No sadness, no tears, no love. I just feel closed off, kinda numb but kinda like this weight of carrying something has been taken away from me. One of the things he mentioned when we first spoke about fixing things was ‘little space’. He said you can’t just be going into little space whenever you feel anxious or scared or stressed. Little space shouldn’t be you’re comfort zone. Ngl this hurt and was the red flag I wish I would have shot down. As someone who has more childhood trauma than anyone I’ve ever met, little space is my safe place. It’s my escape, and taking that away from me was cruel.

Sorry about this vent, I just wanted to update anyone who wanted to know