Okay so I’m (33m) trying to figure out how to find a happy medium with being an ABDL and my partner (35f). So here is the story…

In 2016 I got divorced, it was an awful abusive relationship. She was a horrible person, her family was in a Christian cult, etc. I’m lucky to have gotten out. Everything I did was wrong, my fault, and I had to repress everything about me.

A little while later after the divorce I found my current partner, (we are getting married in October) we have been together 5 years and she knows everything about me. I told her about my ABDL stuff a lot later into the relationship then I should have but she accepted it. She doesn’t mind the diapers, onesies, pacifiers, she just wants me to be me and not feel ashamed. She doesn’t want to be involved in it at all, but accepts that it’s a part of me, which is fantastic.

Now to the issue, in littlespace I have found myself, asking her to tell me to do things or make decisions for me. She doesn’t feel comfortable doing that, which is okay. Right now she will pick out my diaper and onesie. However little me wants and almost needs someone to tell me what to do and make decisions for me. I love her and accept her boundaries, I would never want her to do anything she feels uncomfortable about. So how do I find a balance? Moreover how do I exist in a little-space but satisfy that need to be told what to do? How do I also go about not feeling ashamed or guilty for being an ABDL?