I have 64GB memory. When the system boots, it is using 4GB. After I ran some applications and stopped them, it was using 40GB, and another 20GB in buffer/cache.

I cleared the buffer/cache, and now I have 32GB, still too high as I have noting running. Here is my top output sorted by RES.

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Edit: I am trying to find which process/deamon is using actual memory of 32GB. So far I stopped plex and jellyfin and got 3GB back. Still need to figure out >20GB missing.

What makes it difficult is that I don't know what tool to use to show the memory, as top RES doesn't seem to be the right field.

Edit 2: At this point, I am pretty sure that the extra memory is being used by ZFS ARC as cache. It is not reported as cache to the kernel so it shows up as used memory in top. Which means there is something else that is causing my system crash. I will keep looking into it but this was a great find.

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Top sorted by RES