i just discovered this thread this week and i didn’t know what limerence was until I saw a tiktok video on it this week. I’m a 27F and have dealt with this since the age of 13.

for me it has always been teachers. 8th grade math, 9th grade english, 10 11 grade science teacher, 12 grade english. My interest in my LO would fade after i stopped seeing them for a month or so. In high school it was easier to deal with and less time consuming as I would just fantasize about them sexually and most high schoolers also fantasize about sex. Maybe around the 12th grade it was worse because i would always hang around my english teacher helping her grade essays and stuff for community service hours that i didn’t even need. I graduate in June and was over her by July.

It got worse in college when I wasn’t able to see my LO everyday like in high school. I began taking pictures of them in public without them knowing. I was secretly obsessed with them but acted normal so they wouldn’t find out. I never talked about my LO to my friends until a year or so later. I went to a small college and during my last two years my LO was my professor for about 4 different classes. I kinda did this on purpose to attend office hours every week even though i got an A/A in all her classes but i also wanted it for my LOR for grad school. I would talk about her to my friends for hours which pissed them off, search for photos of her on facebook, I would check for her car when i’d enter the garage, and walk by her office whenever her door was open to “go to the bathroom”.

Once i graduated college i didn’t have an LO for two years. When i started grad school in the summer it happened so soon. by November i was hooked on my LO for three years. again someone who was a mentor/teacher. I would always find ways to talk to her and walk by her office. I would ask to meet with her just so we could spend time together and this went on for years. I created projects I was forced to complete just so I could sit down and speak to her. and of course i have gone through her FB, her husbands facebook, her kids/parents facebook to learn more about her/see more photos. I was jealous of her husband for years even though he’s a very very kind and friendly guy. I’d check for her car as well and knowing she was at work that day became a distraction because i craved seeing her for the day. The lowest point was when I began taking adderall to maximize my studying and i thought about her way more than usual like 3 hours a day… it would literally interfere with my studying. The adderall heightened my attraction and I began taking photos and videos of her without her knowledge. I would record our conversations just to hear her voice again later that night. and I would often masturbate to the pictures. This went on for months. I also digged through her trash at the end of the day. IDK why but i craved more of her. I was dangerously mentally and sexually attracted to this woman and she had no clue. She still invited me to her work parties at her house. she met with me and spoke to me without any changes in her behavior. I know her enough to say if she knew she would’ve called me out on it. Suddenly i’ve stopped liking her because there is someone else who has been giving me more attention. She’s been LO of mine for about 4 months But i don’t think this person will become a long term LO because im not sexually attracted to them.

I guess it never got too far because im in professional school. I didn’t want to get kicked out. My friends think i’m a stalker but i never harassed anyone. I never wanted them to find out, make them uncomfortable/stressed out, and report me.

anyways i’m going to find a therapist in the next two weeks. One that is knowledgeable of OCD and it’s related conditions like limerence.