basically what the title says lol. it’s been three years since everything ended. the feelings are old and i’m able to reflect on the situation now. the thought of him touching is literally nauseating but idk i miss the adrenaline rush i use to feel getting ready. getting ready to see him was like a ritual to me. i remember i use to tremble with excitement knowing he was on his way. it was such a dopamine rush i literally felt high and it was better than the sex itself. it was addicting and sometimes i miss it. but i also don’t miss being batshit insane over the entire situation lol like i definitely don’t miss him i just miss the crazy feeling sometimes? i hope that makes sense. im DEFINITELY gonna delete this