I know, I should know better. How can I love and want someone I've never met? But, this is the truth. I need you people's help in understanding this.

Background - I'm 26f, currently in therapy for some mental issues including depression and anxiety.

A few months back, I got talking to a random guy that dm'd me on reddit. I was pretty lonely, was in a different city than the one I'm currently in, and just bored. I wasn't working but doing an online upskilling course to help me in changing my career.

Currently, I am working from home, I don't have a full time job due to some physical health issues, but I'm much better than before. However, this obsession I have with this guy torments me. I think it could be limerence, but I'll let you guys decide if it is that.

So, in April this year, this guy messaged me on my old account on reddit, and on asking him why he decided to dm me, he confessed it's because he found my account interesting. So, full disclosure, I had made some 'nsfw' confession posts, mostly true stories. He initiated some made chats, sent me a bunch of nudes (after taking my consent) and requested we get on a vc (iykwim). I don't know what got into me, I was bored and needed attention, and played along and that's that.

The next day, I texted him and he blew me off saying his gf checks his phone and stuff, so I thought that's that and left him alone. Here, we made the mistake of exchanging real instagram ids. Stupid, I know.

I ended up stalking all his social media, and got to know a lot about him. We sexted a few times after that too.

The problem is, I have ended up falling for him. I didn't anticipate he would nothing more than a random guy on the internet for me. We had some sfw conversation occassionally and he even opened up a little about his relationship and then told me he is having problems with his gf and they aren't in a good space. Later, he told me he is single. I have no way of finding out the truth, and don't believe him. I confessed to him that I want to actually date him, and he said he isn't ready.

Basically I know this was a stupid thing to do, I shouldn't have looked him up everywhere, but I can't help but be attracted to him. He is cute, and everything I want in a guy I date, I think.

We stopped talking a month back, and don't reach out to each other. I'm pretty sure he sees me as just a means to get off. But I can't help but hope that if I confess I like him, he may come around. We live in completely different cities, though, but I'm still willing to give this a chance.

Am I going crazy?

Tldr- I am obsessed, in love with a guy I sexted with multiple times and I don't know what to do. I can't forget him no matter how much I try. Nothing is likely to happen between us. How do I move on?

My dms are closed.