Just so…replaceable. I live with treatment resistant depression and i’m pretty much always low. Except when I like someone. Then for a small period of time, life kinda feels worth living again. It’s like the idea of love/a relationship is the only thing that can pull me out of the hole and somewhat motivate me to do better for myself.

Why the fuck can’t I just be okay alone? Why am I always like this? This limerence thing is actual hell for me.

The story always goes…guy shows interest in me…I develop feelings unnaturally fast…guy doesn’t text/communicate as much anymore…I start to sink into the depression hole again wondering why I can’t keep anyone’s interest for long enough for them to actually get to know me.

Nobody is consistent with me and I can’t figure out if i’m just not interesting enough or they just weren’t that into me to begin with. And I’m sure they’re talking to multiple girls at the same time cause dating but damn. Why am I so little value? Why can’t anyone ever want me ENOUGH?