hey, i am new to this sub so i wanted to give you guys my story about the limerence i have over my ex (J). please keep an open mind.

we first got together because i was dating his best friend (A), and we were polyamorous. J and A already have a bit of an unhealthy enmeshment within their friendship, so when i developed feelings for J, A had encouraged it. we were a triad of sorts, all dating each other. when A and i were starting to fight, and A ended the relationship in december, i subsequently ended things with J, since i assumed he would anyways due to A and i breaking up.

everyone knew that my feelings for J were borderline obsessive, even before the breakup. but J was indifferent towards me. i think that he didnt have strong, serious feelings for me and our relationship was superficial at best. but the lack of clarity on his end made me fantasize about what he was feeling about me, which caused me to develop limerence.

J and i tried being friends after the breakup. but every time he showed disinterest in me, i found myself getting unstable and blocking him, just to end up unblocking him a week later. i think this cycle may be why he eventually decided to ghost me, left me on read on 5/25/24.

i still think about him all of the time. but not even him, a version of him that actually loves me and reciprocates my feelings. im very hyper aware of how these limerent feelings are destroying my mental health, and the reasons behind them, etc. but i still have them. it feels like no matter what i do, J still occupies my mind and never leaves. i cant date others or even have genuine connections with anyone else.

not sure what else to do, so thats why im here. clearly i need to take a different approach, because what i’m doing isnt working.