We have lunch once a week, an intimate hour in an empty restaurant, and we talk about everything that's going on in our lives. It's gradual, and there's certainly some sliding back for me into worrying what she thinks of me or being jealous when she flirts with someone, but I think I'm becoming more secure in the idea that she really cares about me. We recently traded stories about the "worst" things we've done, which for both of us are things that have significantly impacted our lives and relationships and that neither of us would tell most people. It feels to me like we connect on a pretty deep and meaningful level, and it also feels like she thinks that too.

I don't think she realizes the depth of my infatuation with her--that I think about her for hours a day, for instance--which I think is for the best. Yesterday I had a brief fantasy about a time a few years from now when I hope to be able to say, "The first year I knew you I was obsessed with you." That felt like a reasonable goal, which was new. I think I'm making progress!