Last I spoke to my LO (where I initiated it) was August 2nd. So im doing a pretty good job of keeping no contact. I don’t speak to her because of built up anger and frustrations I have toward her. I know it’s insensible, but she has hurt my feelings and I really don’t want to see or speak to her again. We work in the same building and have bumped into each other about 10x or so. When she says hello or asks me how im doing I just respond w/ a one word answer. Otherwise, when I see her I don’t speak (even if we did make eye contact). When she speaks to me it makes me upset because I feel pressured to answer her. Ignoring her/ giving her the cold shoulder makes me feel better so some odd reason. Then there are the times were she like “pops up”. Like seeing her out of nowhere in the parking garage, when I pick my head up after having my face glued to my phone for 10-15 minutes suddenly she’s there. When doing shit around the hospital I turn a corner and BOOM there she is. Elevator doors opening, there she is again. I fucking hate seeing this woman, even though I think about her almost every hour of the day. I feel like I have this loss of self episode. Heart racing, nervous, feeling out of control, feel like doing impulsive shit (resisting the urge to call her, run my car into her’s, follow her to see where she is going, etc.) This episode brings a wave of rage over me and lasts ~5-30 minutes. Being NC has helped but in the past I have ran stop signs and even took my eyes off the road to verify her license plate tag # just to make sure it was her I got a glimpse of. I no longer am at this extreme, but even today I saw her and quickly turned on my car to follow her out the garage. I hate these urges. I wish I didn’t have to work where she does but this situation ishard to change w/o doing a disservice to my career.