I'm not on this sub regularly anymore because I've made a lot of progress, thanks to, well....you all here on this sub! But I like to check back in and pay it forward. Also it's hard to imagine life getting better when you're down in it. I was so down in the weeds with limerence that my SO found out about my 2 LOs and ended our marriage. So I have had some very dark times as a result of using limerence as a coping mechanism. I'm still living with my husband and kids, we both have divorce lawyers, and we verbally agreed to see other people 2 years ago. Once I started meeting real, actual men my limerence took a nosedive because I was finally getting my needs met physically and emotionally.

My limerence for LO #1 has vanished, and I even stopped playing in the band we used to play in together. I only started playing in the band to be close to him in the first place, so the fact that I've given up my only opportunity to see him regularly is a huge step forward for me.

My limerence for LO #2 still lingers, however. When we first met, 4 years ago, there was chemistry but we both had partners. One night we were at a bar and I decided to make a move on him when I was incredibly drunk. In the next few days he stopped following me on social media and replied in a message that he wanted to be left alone. I was devastated by the rejection and the limerence blew up in my face. We went 8 months pretty much no contact. Then he started following me on IG, then liking my posts, then commenting. I was in heaven, the pendulum had swung and now he was pursuing me! Intermittent reinforcement is a hell of a drug. We'd go back and forth on social media but nothing materialized. I started seeing a man recently that is similar to my LO and the limerence has gone way down. I've stopped initiating contact. Every few weeks he sends me a meme or finds a reason to text me. I reply only with his level of investment. I still get a small hit of dopamine but it's all manageable. This low level contact is what I've hoped for and I'm proud of how far I've come.

So now what? What's the limerence end game? Is it to have the person completely out of my life, no thoughts whatsoever? Or is it to just not have the limerence negatively impacting me and controlling my thoughts?

There is an ultimate end game that always exists. I may get my limerence down to zero, but I'll always know with both of them that if they hit on me sexually I couldn't say no.

Anyone else that's moved on for the most part but still has low grade limerence?