Have been wrestling with this one for years and got a big download on this one - that I create and am responsible for everything in my life. . . including my parents, friends, family, circumstances of my life, challenges. . .I am the center of "My Universe". . .not "The Universe" but "My Universe". I'd heard this years before and conceptually sort of got it - but only now a whole new experiential awareness of it now - which I suspect will just continue to keep on growing and expanding.

I look at my relationships and it really looks like they happened to me . . .but on closer examination - I allowed them in and I allowed them to happen and I am responsible for any interpretations I made about them. . .I'm not a victim of anything. . .I can even see my parents have been the perfect people in life to work through through the challenges that I would want to work out anyways. They're not doing anything to me . . .mostly just unconsciously playing out their own programming. . .not trying to control me (I am responsible for how I interpret things / let things in so can't really be controlled) and I'm not a victim of anything they said or did.

Same way inside other relationships - intimate, business, etc. . .I can clearly see that mostly people are playing out an unconscious program. . .and getting angry at someone is almost like getting angry at a dog. . .it's just my own stuff that comes up when I get triggered. . .they are not doing it "to me", they're just doing what they're doing (mostly unexamined and unaware and kind of like playing out some programming - and perhaps the real reason they're in my life is like a mirror for me to see myself more clearly and tell more of my truth without getting triggered or angry, defensive or reacting - and all just an opportunity when I do get triggered to more clearly see the aspects of myself that are unloving and non-neutral that really have to go - and that I really want to let go of anyhow - if I'm going to expand and become more loving and compassionate and a more grandiose version of myself.

Just going through so much with family now, challenges with business. . .and nothing wrong at all with that and nothing to fix or change about anything. And it's not like it hasn't always been the case . . .looking back there have always will be these challenges and looking forward, I can see that the challenges never will end . . . and maybe it's a fools dream to think otherwise or that there will be a point where that ever won't be the case / a time when there won't be anything to process over . . .Marketing plays on this dream of having a "happily ever after" or a place where there won't be any challenges or things to process over. . .sure, we get small breaks here and there from the processing (i.e. getting away for a vacation, during romance, etc) but maybe the main course of life is just one long series of challenges, things we get triggered over and things to process - that become increasingly more complex as we continue to grow and expand our capacity to handle more . .and it's all really good and all just an opportunity . . .maybe everything in life is working for us and for our greater benefit in that way - to see our own programming more clearly and let go of the aspects of ourselves that are not loving and not neutral for us to be in a more loving and compassionate place.

I continue to be amazed how "enough opportunities" and "enough money" just keeps on working out and showing up. . .sometimes at the 11th hour all just getting me to trust more and more. I was watching a documentary about the late Audrey Hepburn awhile ago on Netflix and what a beautiful soul she was . . . there was a part on there where she said "I chose to see the world as a beautiful place and all of life is working for me". . .kind of sums things up.