There's a lot of relationships one has this lifetime. . .the relationship with one's intimate partner, the relationship with one's parents, the relationship with one's children, the relationship with one's clients, the relationship with oneself, the relationships with one's friends, the relationship with money, and more.

Consider that the most important relationship by far is one's relationship with who one really is beyond our body and our mind . . .our relationship with our "Higher Self" or "Eternal Self".

By "Higher Self" or "Eternal Self", I'm referring to the part of us that never sleeps (the consciousness that's still there when we're asleep or in a deep meditation; the part of you that was here long before you were born and goes on way after we die (unless, that is, you don't believe in such a thing); the part of you many refer to as your intuition with the subtle hunches - go right, go left, take that risk, communicate that thing, don't go there, etc etc.

About 13 years ago, after getting totally lost chasing other relationships (metaphorically and literally speaking), one of my mentors reminded me of this thing I'd forgotten and I found it to be one of the best reminders ever to get back on track with developing and focusing on this critical relationship once again. . .

I've come to discover in my own life and now something I also remind my clients of - is that if we prioritize this relationship with our Higher Self / Eternal Self over other relationships, life will probably work out much better than we can imagine. . .and it's when we neglect this critical relationship, putting other relationships first (and not to say that these other relationships aren't important. . .just perhaps not as important as the one I'm referring to), that things can go sideways.

Yet - there's nothing wrong with putting another relationship ahead of this - i.e. prioritizing one's relationship with money over everything else (i.e. prioritizing chasing way more money than one actually needs), prioritizing one's relationship with an intimate partner before everything else, and so on (which is pretty much what everyone does). . .which are all good. . .and it's a crapshoot if it works out or not.

However, when one prioritizes one's relationship with their Higher Self / Eternal Self. . .they might actually get and accomplish something far more valuable and significant at the end of the day - and it's worth exploring what I mean by giving a specific example here.

I am working with a young woman coaching client right now and the biggest point of contention in her life right now is her relationship with her boyfriend. . .There's a ton stuff in their relationship that isn't getting communicated and she's tried many different things from working with various couples counsellors, therapists, different coaches, gone to relationship and communication workshops and so on. Mostly I just listen without any judgment, unconditional love and allow her lots of space to just share without trying to fix or change her in any way. . .giving her space to feel her way through things.

Things have helped with the coaching and working with other people and her life definitely is better, but she was still stuck, and trying to do it all herself - thinking there was something wrong with her that she couldn't get it done by herself.

I shared about a weekend event I host, that has brilliant facilitators and a very specific design where the stuff that never gets communicated in relationships - the sort of stuff that literally eats people up inside, perhaps wreaking havoc on their health and vitality, having love and intimacy go out the window - and stuff they are absolutely desperate to get communicated and heard - finally can get communicated and the "heavy emotional charge" and energy can finally bleed off and disappear with lots of clarity and freedom on the other side of that.

I told her that I've seen stuff get communicated at these events that not even couple counsellors, psychologists, therapists, and other communication workshops I've seen could get at and she could also learn very specific awareness pieces around man woman dynamics as well. . .

Anyhow - I recommended she invite her boyfriend to come there since it's a really really safe and unconditionally loving place with zero judgment, no spiritual or religious dogma, no one trying to fix and change you . . .rather just a pristine place where things can finally get heard by both people in the relationship.

She said her boyfriend wouldn't want to do this, and I mentioned that there's just some things that can really only get communicated in a different sort of environment with outside help and that I needed this outside help when I was married and even the facilitators needed outside help and weren't able to do it themselves (mainly because you're just way too close to a partner in a relationship and too much heavy "emotional charge" / fear of loss, etc. . .)

Anyhow, my client was terrified that if both she and her boyfriend went and things actually did get communicated, the relationship might blow up . . .yet, she desperately wanted to communicate some things at the same time (kind of a catch 22) and the things that weren't getting said or communicated were causing the relationship to become more and more toxic with intimacy gradually disappearing, as well as her health and energy being affected (with the possibility things would blow up anyways if things kept on going the way they were).

I said, there's a whole different context framework to look at this thing from. . .if you remember that you cannot take your relationship with him when you die and you're going to have to let it go at some point whether you like it or not. If you consider that who you really are goes beyond this lifetime experience - wouldn't it be way more valuable to be free from the fear that has been plaguing you all this time so you're free to actually say yourself (and learn how to do it in a different way than how you've been doing it up until now so you get a different result)? Wouldn't it be cool, if you worked out this piece this lifetime, so you never ever have to do it again. . .wouldn't that be the much bigger accomplishment at the end of your life and worth taking the risk for that - versus clinging onto something that wasn't very fulfilling and falling apart?

At the same time, I don't know what's right for her. . .and she has to be the one "pulling" this . . .it's not for me to be doing this sort of work for her and she has to be reaching for it herself - and for sure, there is the possibility it could blow up her current relationship - but it might also bring them much closer together. However, the much much greater prize by far would be her getting freed up from her fear going forward and learning some really powerful skills that would benefit her forever this lifetime and beyond . . .

So that's basically what I mean by prioritizing one's relationship with their Higher Self / Eternal Self and putting it into a different framework. I could give tons more examples around this with money, work, business, health, and so on. . . to break up things like one's fear of survival, doing things they don't really want to be doing in order to survive or chasing after material stuff that won't really make them happy at the end of the day so they're more freed up to pursue pleasurable things, to be freed up to be more of service to others, and more (all so you don't have to keep on doing the same thing anymore and going beyond).

At the same time, I'm curious to see who in this group are interested in this sort of discussion and what appetite people might have for it. It's not something I find can really be sold or marketed however in the traditional sense. . .I find someone has to want this or pull it towards them - the desire for more awareness. . .