Having to sell and market to people on the concept of life coaching is a funny sort of deal don't you think?

Prior to being a life coach, I worked in sales and marketing for 13 years selling a myriad of all sorts of things from software, financial products, health devices, internet marketing education courses, web services, office equipment and even time-share.

In that world, the sales tactics and strategies worked well - working with metrics, numbers of calls, numbers of emails, internet and social media marketing, contacting lots of people. You were constantly trying to improve your conversion rate, as well as increase your cost of the program. The more money you made, the better. . .

I was good at doing this. . .but when I moved to life coaching, much to my total dismay - I found none of the sales and marketing techniques that had worked so well previously (the SEO, social media and email marketing, phone campaigns, writing a book ,blogging, etc etc didn't work anymore) . . .at least for the business I ultimately wanted to design.

This is not to say, it's not appropriate to do any of those things when building a life coaching practice. . .I think if someone "hears" to go and do it, it may be a good idea to follow their sense / hunch about it. For me, I found it didn't really work.

I think these things could have worked, had I had a business model selling some sort of coaching course or coaching program with a specific curriculum or specific process with modules, content, etc. or selling group coaching with specific lessons and content - which is perhaps what almost all life coaches are doing out there - from the Rich Litvin's, Tony Robbins, Ted McGrath's, Jack Canfield's and so on - of this world. . .and nothing wrong with these approaches.

I'd designed a coaching practice in the beginning with programs like that for my clients . . .I worked with a lot of people going "shallow" with them but not deep. . . I also found that there was a lot of churn in this business model and the constant push to market continuously.

Gradually found I was more interested in developing long-term relationships with clients where they felt comfortable opening up and sharing about anything - and being "heard", "seen" and "known" in the process. . .that's where I found the real magic happened. . .when they were really "heard" and were able to see they were having the "right" life for them. . .and I found this sort of approach produced the biggest and most profound results of all for the people I worked with.

I found if someone had to be "sold" on being a life-coaching client, it had a tendency to skew the relationship right from the beginning. . . .when I think back to people who try to sell me on something, my initial reaction is to be guarded and not open - when someone calls me out of the blue pitching me on something or receiving emails with a link to an offer. . .I can somehow feel their "attachment" in the background, and the tendency is to pull away and not "reveal" and/or open up. . .and that's how the relationship starts off then going forward.

Of course, people do sign up for these services that are pitched in this way, but I mostly find they are "set" programs with specific curriculum, etc. (and nothing wrong with any of this).

I then think about the times when I've been pulled to "buy" something or sign-up for something where I didn't have to be sold or "pitched" on anything . . .the experience was completely different. . .I was "pulling" to learn something for myself and actively reaching for more. . .it started the relationship on a completely different footing.

I wanted a different business model of having long-term close relationships with my clients where they felt really comfortable opening up and revealing more - and "being heard" in return. . . Instead of going shallow with a lot of people, I wanted to go much deeper with a smaller number. . .

I'm not suggesting one model is any better than another. . .I've done both models and found I prefer the going deeper and making a larger impact with fewer people to be more desirable for my life (and not having a life having to manage a big operation with lots of moving parts where I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off all the time and not "present".

But how then does one market life-coaching without doing the traditional sales and marketing approach?

Well, it happens by getting out and talking to people without any sort of agenda in the conversation. . .

I found this to be really uncomfortable and awkward in the beginning. . .I was so used to going out and having to make things happen with sales, trying to "close" people on becoming clients, trying to make things happen . . .yet, I couldn't make anything happen anymore. . .the more attached I became, the more it pushed people away.

Gradually, the process looked like just hanging with people in the conversation with the "knowing" of them being perfect, whole and complete and loving them just as they are - and not trying to get anywhere with them or not trying to sell or close them on anything. . . something I found insanely difficult to do while resisting the urge to try to fix or change, sell or whatever.

But here's an interesting thing. . .I discovered that almost no one gets "heard" or "seen" out in the world . . .pretty much everyone when they're talking with someone else - has some sort of agenda operating in the background. . .

It's actually really really rare for someone to be really heard and seen. . . and it feels really good when someone listens fully and gives them the experience of being heard, seen, known and unconditionally loved.

So, what happens is that people go towards what feels good and will naturally be drawn to your business and/or do work with you and "open up" because it's safe to do so. . .that's at least what I discovered in the process. . .people didn't need to be sold. . .they were just drawn to what felt good.

It takes time to get proficient at this however. . .in the beginning, I found there to be a lot of "unlearning" and letting go of any agenda and/or attachment to sell and market as I once did.

But it's a very cool journey for someone who feels compelled to embark on it. . .I feel like I'm still on the path and it's taken a long time to be able to even articulate it here. . .hope someone on here finds it valuable.