One of the things I notice pretty much all new coaches and business owners bump up against is fear associated with looking like a failure or loser / not knowing their stuff. Yet, the ability to hang and be with this fear versus trying to avoid it is the determinant factor whether or not someone can get a practice going and survive in business.

To avoid the fear in the life coaching and many other business accreditation programs - my sense is that the market responded with creating schools and accreditation programs which taught some useful skills of what to do once you ALREADY HAVE a client but NOT what to do or what you have to go through to pick one up.

I've taught courses for graduates coming out of schools and mentored new coaches getting started out and I always found it curious as why the school program they just came through would not have students having to go out and get paid clients as part of their practicum (and I'm not talking about getting clients by donation or reduced rate clients where the school keeps the money - but actual paid clients where the student has to ask for and keep the money - and preferably not mentioning to the potential clients that they are doing this as part of a school program or even associated with the school) . . .after all - isn't that exactly what they're going to have to do after graduation and arguably by far the most important skill for someone to learn to be and survive in business.

Now - I don't know if things have changed and some life coaching or accreditations schools have switched their programs to include a practicum where students have to go out and get actual paying clients as part of their requirement to pass the program (and not use the name of the school or that they're doing it as part of a practicum when approaching people to take on as clients - in order for people to get the "real" experience of what it's like - not hiding behind the credibility of a school).

I suppose the argument from the school might be one of liability. . .not wanting to be sued perhaps if things goes sideways when there is a monetary fiduciary relationship the student in a program and the person they pick up as a client (which probably could be easily enough handled with some sort of disclaimer agreement) . . .and probably not a big deal at all if the name of the school was never used in the interaction.

My sense is that the bigger reason is that the schools would attract far fewer students if this is a requirement because this is the very thing that is terrifying people that they don't want to face and part of the reason (maybe even the main reason) they're in school in the first place is that they under the assumption that if they had their accreditation, then they don't have to go through feeling this fear. It's an interesting paradox and an illusion at the same time.

I see so many people when they finish school come out thinking "great - clients will just show up now that I have this accreditation". . .but everyone knows it's just not true. . .because the very thing that they were trying to avoid is still waiting for them as soon as they get out of school (which is going through and "feeling" the fear). . .the only difference is that they now have less money in their pocket and a little less time to work with.

Now I'm not saying that some of the things that schools teach isn't valuable . . .maybe people need to have the accreditation to sort out something in their head / mind before they feel comfortable asking someone to be a paid client. . .it's just interesting that they just don't help people through perhaps the most valuable thing of all.

It's funny, I have actually sat some school directors of different business accreditation programs offering to do something around this in their curriculum for their students curious to see if they would be interested in taking me up on the offer or at the very least wanting to know more - and it has been met with disinterest and resistance.

I remember at one of the last business programs I taught to a school of graduates coming out of a accreditation program in Florida being a room where everyone was asking questions like "how do I structure my business?", "what niche should I get in to?", "how should I brand my business?", "what legal structure should my business have?", and so on. I said to the room "no one is asking the most important question of all which is - how do I pick up paying clients . . .isn't that what you're all here to do anyhow?" The room was quiet and the level of discomfort in the room was highly noticeable. Rather than just sit in the discomfort, I notice people asking other questions to change the topic or divert the focus somewhere else.

The only thing there really is to do when starting a coaching practice is to just go out and get paying clients . . .it doesn't matter what you coach them on. . .and don't worry about trying to get it right, don't worry about having the right website, having the right business structure or whatever. . .consider that these might just be things we employ to not be with, avoid, or deflect having the feelings of fear or discomfort that arise in us . . .and it's interesting because these are the very feelings and emotions that you would want to work through anyhow and be free of.

All that other stuff (i.e. good website design, business structure, etc etc) all can be learned on the fly and your clients who show up will in front you will show you where you need to go with the business (since it's really all about them at the end of the day and getting behind and supporting their goals).

The interesting thing about fear is that it is just an emotion. . .and the way to not be triggered by an emotion is to just sit and be with it fully, allow it in and even crush and paralyze you to the point where you don't get triggered at all - realizing that you didn't die and you're still here. This is an unpopular viewpoint and highly counterintuitive.

Many try to do this in their heads / minds or ask "is there a book I can read or course I can take" to avoid having the feelings and emotions. . .I've had a number of people message me asking those questions (can you share a name of a book or course you took). . . which is all good, but you can't learn this piece from a book or taking a course where they teach you something. . .and it's not something that can be done in the mind. The real work is to just have one's feeling so they can be "processed out".

When I work with someone, typically they set themselves up with a plan to go towards a goal. . .doesn't matter what the goal is and it's not about getting the "right" goal. . .the only thing that is important is that it is a stretch for someone. . .The reason is - I know that invariably by going for the stretch goal - it is going to drive up all their emotions, fear, anger, etc and that is a really good thing that these things get driven up to the surface for us to see and examine more closely. The coaching sessions are about having these things be revealed. . .there's nothing to fix or heal or change with any of these things and there's not something wrong with a person for having them and they're not broken by having them. . . Remember - the real work is just to feel these things so you can be free of them and not get triggered (and not to deflect). That's actually the true value of the coaching relationship . . .it's not about imparting or teaching any wisdom that the coach knows but rather creating a space for the person to clearly examine their limiting beliefs, feel and "process out" certain emotions that get in the way of progress.

It also turns out that pretty much all our fears are totally unexamined and not real or what we think they are). The University of Cincinnati did a study on this where they had people write down all their deepest fears, doubts, worries and concerns for a large group of people. They tracked all these things for years and the results were that 85% of all the things they worried about that kept them up at night never manifested. Of the remaining 15%, somewhere around 10 - 12% of the things the participants were able to handle way easier and better than they had thought so turned out to be no big deal. In that case, only 3-5% of all the things we spend our time worrying about and fearing actually are real. Think about that. . .that's an enormous amount of energy, money, time and resources going into avoiding, protecting ourselves from things that will never ever come true or manifest. If you could take that energy and redirect it towards your goals - imagine what you could accomplish!

If a person gets really good at this aspect and hanging with and "processing out fear", I don't even think it's necessary to get accredited or take business accreditation programs. Of course, for certain fields this is a requirement (but it's only a fairly recent invention of society the schooling requirement). My father was a systems engineer and designed the first cardlock gas station system for Chevron North America. When he was hired, he was hired with just a high school diploma. He spent over 40 years at the company, led teams, designed huge systems without any post secondary education whatsoever. When he left the company, the person who replaced him had a PhD and that actually was the job requirement at the time.

Furthermore, I imagine if you ask most doctors, specialists of some sort, life coaches with an established practice or whatever in any field - you ask them where they learned their trade - they'll most likely say something like 95% or more was on-the-job training and probably less than 5% was from school or the accreditation program. . .

This is why, I'll often say to new people, the only thing there is to do is to take action and make yourself massively uncomfortable . . .we can deal with the stuff as it comes up to see more clearly but nothing happens until you throw yourself in the fire - then the "emotional charge" can get burned off and you can be free of it. If you are having trouble with this - find someone who can help you through this step. . .it's critical if you want to get any business going.