2 years ago I found out I was interested in men as well as women. Not going to lie reacted bad it was downward spiral. It started me questioning life too. I hate to say it but I never had any relationship and only kiss was 15 drunk. I finally decided to lose my card. Met a guy on grinder we met up. But as we started something in me couldn’t find joy or pleasure in the moment. I’m dick and did blue ball him but I left. But it keeps on in my thoughts. I can think of 3 possible reasons and I actually despise 2 of them. 1 ) is maybe it was just them, maybe I just couldn’t get into it with them. (Only option I want)

2) is I’m not into guys in which case I feel I wasted 2 years being depressed and I feel it’s will push me into those habits

3) the one I’m most scared of is I’m ace don’t get me wrong I have nothing against any LGTBQ but I already feel I have nothing that brings joy or happiness so i feel if I add smex as something I can’t enjoy I will do something bad

I just want advice I’m just fucking lost. For anyone who actually read this thanks