So I 18F live in Nz and grew up in a very religious anti lgbtq household. When I was 14 I thought I was trans ftm so I came out as trans and pansexual and my parents were not supportive and I ended up getting some sort of conversion therapy. Since being forced back in the closet I identify as female (and realised that I actually am female but all power to trans ppl<3). I’ve also always known I’ve liked girls. I’ve never really had a sexual thought about a man or felt attracted to a man or had any desires or fantasies about them but I have definitely had them about women. Around the end of last year I ended up coming out to a few close friends as bisexual and started going on dating apps to try and find someone. I ended up matching with a guy and then we started dating. Sex never lasted long and I was never aroused by him at all (except like the fingering and when we used toys) eventually he started to become really jealous of my female friends and insecure about me being bisexual even though I assured him I wasn’t gonna cheat or anything. But throughout this whole relationship and even before I’ve been questioning if I’m actually a lesbian and not bisexual but I definitely wasn’t gonna cheat either way and I told him that. I wasn’t open about my sexuality struggles with him because he was being really weird about my sexuality in the first place. I do admit I should have been honest. He also kept on making me feel bad about our sex life and my sexuality. A few weeks ago I broke up with him and now I’m trying to actually figure all this shit out. I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian and not bisexual because I don’t wanna be with a man but deep down I have shame because of my family and because I’m scared that I’ll be wrong about it. I’m also scared my friends thinking I’m into them or something because if I’m close with people I’m very loving towards them and I tell my best friends I love them everyday. Sorry about the rant I just wanna be able to say that I am actually a lesbian but I’m scared