So I’m 19 going to be 20 soon and over the past 2 years I’ve been getting more into punk and pretty much just the dark color aesthetics. I’m autistic and from what I can tell from posts over on the autism subreddit well mostly comments and people I know we do conform way less to gender rules and norms.

I know the way I dress doesn’t have to say anything about my gender but I’ve been feeling a little upset because feminine people seem to be able to pull way better dark aesthetics and clothing whereas I try and I’m doing to much and trying to hard. I don’t want to be low effort or to simple. I’ve also been messing around with the idea of he/them instead of he/him. I’ve worn nail polish and make up.

Oh another thing I think is somewhat important I like the words beautiful and pretty much more than I like handsome they just sound so much better. Handsome just sounds like whoever made it didn’t find men or masculine people attractive.

I’m pansexual. I used to say bi but I’ve done my research and realized I’m attracted to the whole thing femboys, trans, non-binary, men, women. On another note why is there this “disbelief” of bisexuality even among the community when I don’t see or hear any of that for pansexuality?