Hello!

In 2018, I made a friend - fellow (at the time) transgender woman, british. We met on a NWN2 roleplaying server (non-ERP) and hit it off and started talking a lot and flirting after a year or so.

I really liked them, and still kinda like but...

Over time they felt their identity was better described by fem-leaning enby, and this I didn't mind. Nominally, I'm panromantic and demisexual, or so I thought. I do feel deep-down they may have changed the label because of hopelessness over passing and age and disabilities and UK bullshit.

Over time, they fell further back to masc-ish enby, and started using masc forms of address/presentation again.

This made my previous strong romantic attraction for them somewhat fade away. But we kept it going because, well - my earlier hope that once they're in a better situation they'll feel comfortable leaning into feminine identities again.

Now, over time I made a new friend. Closeted at the time, and came out to me as trans after we started talking properly.

I have a crush on her. We flirt a bunch, and she's far more secure in this than the other person as well and I can't list all the stuff I like about her - like, I'm not blind to her flaws. She can be toxic as shit when her emotional regulation breaks but, so can I. In a way this helps because I do not fear being like, led on or "politeness"-

I also realized over-time, that I cannot really feel romantic feelings towards masc people. Not after experiencing the difference in emotions and feelings this new person gives me compared to my first boyfriend. It's not even the body, I am pretty happy with dicks and stuff. It's kinda presentation/identity? It confuses me.

So, what am I looking for for in advice?

I'm looking for how to like, deal with the british person. I am fairly hopefully they're just giving up on female identity out of fear and worries rather than like, actually being mostly "GNC male" and want to hold out hopes but...

I think they too can feel how different I act towards them vs the new person, and like - they're fine with sharing. I am fine with sharing them too. Part ideologically, part naturally.