I’m a 19M bisexual although I’d prefer women that’s important later trust me.

For the toxic thoughts I keep having many of you are going to say I should just break up with her. I’m a 19M dating a 19MtF. I really like her! I’m doing it because she’s all I can get but I keep having these thoughts I know are toxic, wrong, and incel like. I feel like I know why these thoughts came back. She recently told me that although she’s bisexual and attracted to men there’s no sexual attraction there. I want to get physical and although I haven’t told her yet all I can think about is whether or not this is going to work.I try to push them to the side they continue to come back almost as if by ignoring the thoughts I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. If these thoughts are really who I am I might just shoot myself now.

Some of the thoughts I was raped by my father since then I’ve been to broken to find anyone to love me. (This is before getting into a relationship)

I’m such a failure that the only people attracted to me are men and all they’re interested in is sex. ( messages from men on reddit )

My first relationship isn’t even with afab ( now that I’m in a relationship )

I don’t want to have these thoughts they just pop into my head! The last one is what I’m most ashamed of and the one I dismiss the fastest. The more I have these thoughts the more I think they’re valid reasons to be upset. Also all of them are about me and how I’ve failed not other people making my life miserable. Not the average incel if that’s what I am? How do I get these thoughts to stop what do I tell my therapist? I’m worried it’s already over because of the no sexual attraction thing.